Sixty Eight Days  A Grunt's story!
by Batajitsu
Summary: One shot, a ShinRa grunt expresses his feelings about life in the military, and his feelings towards one blond, spiky headed individual. This was written as a joke, tell me if you liked. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!


_**Sixty eight days - A Grunts Story!**_

_**- Batajitsu**_

"You know what the average life expectancy of a grunt these days is?"

Waiting for an answer, despite being alone in the room, officer Kendal paused before continuing.

"Sixty eight days, that's including basic training, like what the fuck? Sixty eight days? That's absurd... Ok sure. It's true that we're the '1st line of defense.'"

Sarcasm dripped within his vocals as he completed the sentence.

"Yea fucking right, more like lambs to the slaughter."

Jumping upwards within his small barracks, that was now empty of all personal, Kendal swung his arms around, before dropping back into his rugged make shift bed.

"We just get no respect these days, it's like..."

Putting on an exaggerated stern face, Kendal continued.

"It's like, if you're not a Turk or a soldier, then you're nothing these days, and you know what... I really don't feel like dying, I mean honestly... I haven't heard of one grunt that's lasted for more then the time period... Honest to god, you know, once this guy named liana, was so close, on his sixty eighth, then bang!"

Jumping upwards once more, kindle smashed his two palms together, causing a large thudding sound to echo.

"He died, was ordered to stop the advance of some fucking retard with blond hair... Like what the fuck, they have all the Turks, all these soldier, but when a high level intruder comes in... Who do they send in? That's right, not the people who could actually handle it, but us... like honest to fucking god, shoot me now. Then again, I wonder what value they place our lives on, cant be much, seems that every time an intruder comes in, we just get sent out to test their strength."

"And how does this make you feel?" An electronic voice spoke up from within the darkness.

"Fucking pissed off... Our wages are piss poor as well."

"I see... And how does this make you feel?" The electronic voice that was the physiatrist for the ShinRa local grunt division spoke up once more, the sounds of scratching could be heard over the intercom.

"I feel like, I feel like my life is being wasted man... I joined cause of some stupid poster ShinRa posted up, you know? The one about join now and gain the wealth of ages or some shit like that... Or the one about friendship, all my friends have already been killed in what seems like random encounters with that spiky haired lill shit, and that black bitch with that fucking gun on his hand."

"And how does that make you feel?" The voice once more answered.

"Like I've been saying, pretty pissed off, you know, we grunts do have emotions you know? It's not like what you see in the games, every ten steps you run into an enemy grunt, dispatch emm then move on, we have families you know? You know how many widows that spiky haired whore has made? Heaps, yet do they care? Seems not, like what the hell, they come busting in here, raiding the elevators, shooting and killing, and wounding and biting and maligning, and they seem to not even relies, that we too are human beings..."

"And how does this make you feel?"

"It makes me feel worthless doc... You know? Like I feel like forming a grunt union, something like... We protest the random battles that are used to test the enemies' strength as we have families as well."

"And how does this make you feel?"

"Makes me feel kind of wanted you know?"

"And how does this make you feel?"

"Kind of proud of myself, come to think of it... You're a great doc you know?"

"And how does that make you feel?

"Like I wanna kiss you, cept then you'd file a sexual harassment suit against me, and they'll ship me off to the naval section."

"And how does that make you feel?"

"Well I know the naval life expectancy is kind of longer, but you know, I cant shake them rumors about all the members dying of aids..."

"And how does that make you feel?"

"Makes me feel like I could be violated..."

"And how does this make you feel?"

"Well... I'm still a virgin, and theirs no chicks on the navy, and really, I don't want my first time being with some big black guy named earl from Costa del Sol."

"And how does this make you feel?"

"Like I don't want to hug you anymore."

"And how does this make you feel?"

"Relieved, you've been a big help doc."

"Yes I do believe I have; now just one thing, how many days have you been on the force?"

"This would be my sixty eighth day today, and as long as no one calls me, I might be able to break the record..."

"I see... And how does that make you feel?"

"Fucking scared, I gotta admit."

"And how does that make you feel?

"Sort of like I need to shit myself every time I hear the ding for a message."

"I see... Well officer, you're dismissed."

"Thanks doc", Kendal rose, and exited the room.

Suddenly sirens began wailing, red and blue lights flashed above and below, sections sealed themselves off, as grunt after grunt poured into the main lobby.

"Shit..." Was all Kendal was able to mutter before the momentum of the crowd rushed him inwards towards the center of the commotion, where a blond spiky haired man, wearing blue overalls, and a giant sword, was charging towards them.


End file.
